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AFTERIMAGE >
Synopsis
Episode Synopsis by Tracy Hemenover
The day after her arrival on DS9, Ezri Dax stands overlooking the
Promenade, commenting to Morn on how familiar it seems despite the fact
that she has never been here before. Morn, though, has no idea who she
is. Ezri wanders away, and finds herself in the Bajoran shrine, at the
spot where Jadzia was killed. "It's a strange sensation, dying," she
tells Kira, who shows up just then. "No matter how many times it happens
to you, you never get used to it." She knows that Kira is uncomfortable
with her; Kira admits that an old friend with a new body and personality
is a lot to get used to.
Ezri then goes to Quark's, where the Ferengi buys her a drink: bloodwine.
But she no longer has a taste for it. She is going back to the Destiny
and her post as assistant counselor. "I don't want to force things.
People need time to get over losing Jadzia." But Ezri notes that Quark
is the only one of Jadzia's friends, other than Sisko, who seems
comfortable with her. Then she recalls that he owes her ten slips of
latinum from their last game of Tongo. Quark changes the subject in a
hurry, indicating Worf, who has just entered. Ezri smiles tentatively at
the Klingon, but when he sees her, he leaves.
The next day, she enters Sisko's office through the side door, not
wanting to go through Ops in case Worf is there. Hearing that Worf
wouldn't talk to her, Sisko suggests that maybe he's trying to respect
the Trill taboo against reassociation. "That doesn't mean that we can't
talk to each other," Ezri exclaims. She sees Worf at his post, and knows
he's in pain. To avoid putting him through any more, she is planning to
go back to the Destiny, she tells Sisko. "I can't stay here. I couldn't
do that to him. Besides, I think it might be easier for me on the
Destiny. There are too many memories here." Reluctantly accepting this,
Sisko tells her he'll miss her.
Bashir, O'Brien and Odo are in Quark's, discussing an upcoming holosuite
excursion to the Alamo as Garak sits with them, working on decoding a
Cardassian military transmission. This is something he has been doing
for Starfleet Intelligence for a while now. The bar is crowded, and
Garak is getting visibly agitated for some reason. "Must you stand so
close?" he snaps at a couple of people behind him, surprising his
companions.
In his shop, Garak tries to work some more, but his distress grows. When
Odo comes in to give him another newly-intercepted transmission, he
can't hear the constable speaking. He falls down, hyperventilating, and
Odo calls for medical assistance.
It was an attack of claustrophobia, something Garak has had as long as
he can remember, but lately it's gotten worse. Bashir can't find an
explanation. Garak asks Sisko to express his regrets to Starfleet
Intelligence, as he won't be up to decoding transmissions for a while.
He doesn't know when he can go back to it. This is not good news to
Sisko, who asks Bashir (after Garak leaves) if there's anything he can
do. "To be blunt," the doctor replies, "our friend Garak needs his head
examined."
Ezri is standing on her head when Sisko speaks to her. It's something
Emony used to do for relaxation, though it just gives Ezri a headache.
She points out that she's still in training, but Sisko asks what she can
learn in the next few months that she hasn't already learned in 300
years. There's no one else on the station who can counsel Garak. "Come
on, old man. You can do this." Ezri reluctantly agrees to try.
At the bar, Quark asks Bashir, "So what do you think?" Once Bashir knows
what he's talking about -- Ezri -- all he'll say is that "she
seems...nice." But she's not Jadzia. Quark is unfazed. "She's the next
best thing. So, are you interested?...It's not every day you get a
second chance with a woman." As far as he's concerned, Dax is still Dax,
and "that's good enough for me." He proposes a "competition", but Bashir
informs him he's insane. "And you are going to lose," says Quark.
When Ezri visits Garak in his shop, the tailor is polite but evasive as
ever, doing his best to get rid of her. But Ezri unexpectedly turns the
conversation to her own psychological quirks: for instance, her
sensitivity to motion, which she thinks is because of the way her former
host Torias died. She blames herself for the shuttle accident, and even
though she knows it was an accident, she can't help punishing herself
for it. "Don't take this the wrong way," says Garak, "but it sounds to
me as if you're the one who needs to see a counselor."
Ezri gets to the business at hand, asking Garak if anything traumatic
happened to him when he was young, involving a closed space. She is
shocked when Garak offhandedly speaks of how his father, Enabran Tain,
would lock him in a closet when he misbehaved. He apparently doesn't see
anything wrong with this. (But as he speaks, he starts to sweat.) "Maybe
you get claustrophobic for the same reason that I get spacesick," Ezri
observes. "We're both punishing ourselves for things that weren't our
fault." Garak seems to take this under advisement. Ezri then exits,
feeling woozy.
In a habitat ring corridor, Ezri runs into Worf. They stare at each
other for a moment, then she says, "Hello, Worf." Worf only gives her a
curt "Ensign", and starts off. Ezri can't believe that's all he has to
say to her. "I was your wife." "You are not Jadzia," Worf replies
harshly. "Jadzia died and went to StoVoKor. I do not know you, nor do I
wish to know you." He leaves Ezri devastated.
Sisko stops by Ezri's quarters later to let her know that Garak has
started working on the transmissions again. It seems his claustrophobia
is under control. Sisko can't resist a "told you so". When Ezri tells
him about her encounter with Worf, Sisko offers to talk with him, but
she says, "Absolutely not. You intimidate him." Sisko is surprised, but
she can tell he's pleased too. "Look," Sisko says, "we're not talking
about me and Worf, we're talking about you and Worf. Now, I sympathize
with what he's going through, but as far as I'm concerned, you have as
much right to be here as he does...The war has certainly not been very
good for morale around here. I've been thinking the station could use a
good counselor. I can't think of anyone better suited for the job."
What's more, he has already contacted Starfleet Medical, and they're
willing to waive the rest of her training, giving her a commission as a
full counselor with the rank of lieutenant. Ezri replies, "It means a
lot to me that you want me to stay. But I can't." She admits that it's
mostly because of Worf. "You just say the word, and I will intimidate
him for you," Sisko promises.
Later, Ezri is having a hard time deciding what to order at the replimat
when Bashir joins her. "This might be the last thing you want to hear,"
he says awkwardly, "but you have Jadzia's eyes." Uncomfortable, Ezri
tells him not to flirt with her like he did with Jadzia. "I'm not like
her. She knew how to handle it. Actually, she quite enjoyed it." Bashir
is surprised to hear this, though he says he suspected. "You can be very
charming," Ezri says. "You want to know something? If Worf hadn't come
along, it would've been you." Bashir admits that he misses Jadzia, but
talking to Ezri seems to help. Unknown to either of them, Worf has been
watching.
Then a deputy calls Bashir to a medical emergency in one of the
airlocks. It's Garak. Bashir and Ezri race over, to find Garak inside
the airlock. In the grip of an especially bad claustrophobic attack, the
Cardassian is pounding on the outside door, desperate to be let out,
even though there's nothing on the other side but airless space.
Garak seems to calm down when Ezri brings him into an outdoor holosuite
program and gives him some breathing exercises. But he is rattled, and
feels humiliated by his behavior. "I have to get this situation under
control. If I can't, I'll be forced to leave the station, and then where
will I go? I can't go back to Cardassia. I doubt if I'd be welcome on
Bajor." Ezri tells him she'll talk to Quark about making this holosuite
available to him round the clock. She adds that they will get this under
control. Garak asks to be alone for a while.
Bashir has just finished plucking a feather out of Quark's ear (a result
of oo-mox gone wrong) when Worf accosts him. "We need to talk." He
pushes the doctor against a wall, and lets him know that he knows how he
felt about Jadzia, and he has seen him with Ezri. "Stay away from her,"
he warns. Bashir is indignant. "You have no right to tell me who I can
be friends with." "If you dishonor Jadzia's memory, you will regret it,"
Worf rumbles. "And that goes for you too, Ferengi." "What did I do?"
Quark wonders, as Worf stalks out.
Ezri finds Garak in his shop, ripping up a dress and then sewing it back
up. He is angry with himself, insisting that work, not a fake landscape,
is the answer. "My father always used to say that people should throw
themselves into their work. 'Do your chores, Elim. I told you to do your
chores.'" Ezri asks what his father would do to him if he didn't. Garak
rolls his eyes.
"Oh, no, no, no. Please don't start. Spare me your insipid psychobabble.
I'm not some quivering neurotic who feels sorry for himself because his
daddy wasn't nice. You couldn't begin to understand me." "I'd like to
try," Ezri says, staying calm. "Oh, I'm sure you would," Garak sneers.
"You'd like nothing more than to pry into my personal affairs. Well, I'm
not interested in dissecting my childhood. I only want to save my people
from the Dominion. I don't need someone to walk in here and hold my
hand. I want someone to help me get back to work. And you, my dear, are
not up to this task. Look at you. You're pathetic. A confused child
trying to live up to a legacy left by her predecessors. You're not
worthy of the name Dax. I knew Jadzia. She was vital, alive. She owned
herself. And you -- you don't even know who you are. How dare you
presume to help me? You can't even help yourself. Now, get out of here,
before I say something unkind."
His words strike directly at Ezri's fears of inadequacy. Quickly, she
leaves, struggling to keep from crying in front of the crowds on the
Promenade. Finally she ducks inside the empty temple; seeing the place
where Jadzia was killed, she begins to sob.
Shortly thereafter, Ezri hands Sisko her resignation from Starfleet. "Garak
was right. How can I help other people when I can't even help myself?"
"I know this has been a hard time for you, old man -- " Sisko begins,
but she cuts him off. "Don't call me that! I'm not the old man. I'm not
Curzon. Or Jadzia." "No, you're Ezri," he says. "Ezri Dax. And you've
been given eight lifetimes worth of experience. Now I know this is
confusing right now, but in time you'll see it's a wonderful gift."
"It's a gift I don't deserve," says Ezri, her mind made up.
In a hard voice, Sisko suggests that she go back to Trill and have the
symbiont removed, even though it would kill her. Or perhaps she can
become a Guardian. "It's quiet in those caves. No one around, no one
expecting great things of you. You could spend the rest of your life
underground, in the dark, stirring mud. Eighty or ninety years of that
just might be what you need. And as for Dax? That symbiont had eight
amazing lives. So what if the ninth was a waste?" "Stop it, Benjamin,"
Ezri says. "I thought you of all people would understand." "I do
understand," he interrupts. "And you were right. You don't deserve the
Dax symbiont. Quite frankly, you don't deserve to wear that uniform.
I'll pass this on to Starfleet Command. Dismissed." Ezri leaves, stunned
by his harsh words.
O'Brien comes to Worf's quarters with some bloodwine, determined to
talk. The bloodwine is courtesy of Bashir. "Julian swears there's
nothing going on between him and Ezri. There's no reason for you to be
jealous." Worf's anger rises. "This has nothing to do with jealousy. I
know that Dr. Bashir cared for Jadzia. But this woman is not Jadzia. And
treating her as if she were dishonors her memory." "Wrong," O'Brien
tells him. "Treating Ezri like a stranger dishonors Jadzia's memory."
"It doesn't make any sense," Worf erupts. "She is not Jadzia, yet she
is. How can I honor the memory of the woman I loved when she is not
really dead?" O'Brien looks at him sympathetically. "I don't have an
answer for you, Worf. But let me ask you this: how do you think Jadzia
would want you to treat Ezri?" "There is no way to know," replies Worf.
But O'Brien tells him pointedly, "Yes, there is. And the person who can
tell you is the person you've been avoiding ever since she got here." He
leaves Worf to chew on that for a while.
Ezri musters up the courage to face Garak again, telling him she's sorry
she couldn't help him (he agrees), and she's leaving in the morning. The
Destiny is arriving tomorrow, but she's not boarding it; she's going
back to Trill. The ship, meanwhile, will be joining the offensive at
Calandra -- an offensive that is coming about thanks to the
transmissions Garak has decoded. Garak begins to get agitated again.
Seeing his state and realizing she's stumbled onto the key to his recent
bouts of claustrophobia, Ezri mentions that the Cardassians will put up
a strong fight. Garak agrees, but says they'll lose. "Because they won't
be expecting an attack. Because they have no idea that I broke their
code. All those Cardassians are going to die, because of me." His panic
rises once more as Ezri points out that his work is saving Cardassian
lives as well as humans, Klingons, and Romulans. "No, not Cardassians,"
Garak chokes out. "They're going to fight to the bitter end. The
Dominion will see to that." He starts to buckle. "Don't you see? I
wanted to believe that I was helping my people, liberating them, but all
I've done is to pave the way for their annihilation. I'm a traitor! I've
betrayed -- everything." As he collapses, Ezri calls for a medical team.
Garak recovers in the infirmary. "At least we found out what's been
triggering these claustrophobic attacks you've been having," Ezri notes.
Garak tries to make sense of it all. "When I first agreed to help
Starfleet, I was convinced it was the right thing to do. I didn't allow
myself to doubt it, even for an instant. I never realized how much it
was gnawing at me. I suppose I was looking for a way out, and the
claustrophobia gave me an excuse to stop fighting my people." Ezri asks
gently what he's going to do. "Get back to work," he replies. "What else
can I do? The Dominion must be stopped. Even if it does mean the
destruction of Cardassia."
"The captain will be glad to hear that you're back on the job," Ezri
says, and he looks at her. "Well, he has you to thank for it. And so do
I." He asks if she's still planning to return to Trill. "No," Ezri
decides. "I'm going to stay in Starfleet." Then she remembers her
resignation.
When Ezri gives him her request to be reinstated, Sisko says he can't
send it to Starfleet -- because he never sent in the resignation. Ezri
smiles. "I had a feeling you didn't mean all those things you said to
me. You were just trying to rattle my cage." "You've done it to me often
enough," Sisko says. "I'm glad it worked." And Garak has asked for the
latest Cardassian transmissions. Yet Sisko is a bit subdued; after all,
Ezri is still going to be leaving to rejoin the Destiny's crew.
As she's packing, however, she unexpectedly receives a visit from Worf.
"I am not certain that I have treated you the way that Jadzia would have
wanted," he says. "...I loved her with all my heart." "And she loved
you," Ezri tells him. Worf admits, "Part of me is glad to know that she
is not gone forever. But in some ways it would be easier if she were."
He tells her that he wouldn't want her to leave on his account. Ezri in
turn admits that she does want to stay. "Then do," Worf says. "Jadzia
would not have wanted you to leave because of me." She thanks him.
Before he goes, Worf has one more thing to say. "It will be a long time
before I can accept what has happened. Until then -- " "You need your
breathing room. I understand," says Ezri.
Sometime later, there is a ceremony held in the wardroom, in which Sisko
pins a new pip to Ezri's collar. She is now a lieutenant, and officially
in charge of the mental health of the crew of DS9. "You have your work
cut out for you," Sisko observes. The other officers gather to
congratulate her, showing that they're willing to accept her as both a
new and an old friend. Garak is there too; the crowd isn't bothering
him. Finally Ezri catches sight of Worf, and Jadzia's husband raises a
glass to her.
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